Time for a talky one

Anyone who's known me for any length time knows I can be a voracious reader. I'd say 90% of that would be Fantasy because I really just can't get enough of commentary on political systems, governmental policy and organization, and religious institutions in the context of terrifying dark magics, fierce medieval type battles and strange and wonderous creatures. The reason I'm thinking about all this is because one of my favorite authors of all time died.

 

 

David Eddings had no illusions about being an all time literary classic author to be venerated through generations. This isn't to say he wasn't talented. He thought of himself as a primer for the greats. Personally, I'd say his greatest talent was his ability to quickly give you almost complete snapshots of likable characters and then elaborate on their inner workings through the sometimes complex relationships as the story goes on to draw you further into the story. I'd easily give credit to this man for inspiring me to be the passionate reader I am. I've actually developed a series of experiences into what really drew me into reading as I do.

 

I was about 8 years old when my dad (he gets credit for my interest in reading too) decided to read from a five book series by David Eddings called the Belgariad. My strongest memory aside from my rabid interest in the story was impatience because of the slow pace of progression through the story, I just couldn't get enough of it. I went to my father one day and asked him if I could just start the series over and read it myself at my own pace. He just gave me a knowing smile, acquiesced, and handed over the first book, which we as a family had already finished. I proceeded to tear through that in just a few days and began trading off between reading the second book and giving it back so my dad could read it to my brothers each night until I surpassed them, moving on the the third book and finishing that before they even finished the second. I didn't take very long to finish the entire series and proceeded on to reading the Mallorean, a 5 book series that followed after the Belgariad's storyline. After that I was hooked. I read almost everything fantasy or science fiction my dad own, learned what a public library was and by the time I hit the 5th grade the only books that didn't seem overly simple in my estimation in my elementary school library were the collections of Greek Mythology so I dove into those too.

 

In my 5th grade year I was administered a reading test by a Mrs. White. I remember her as a slightly heavy set woman with voluminous frizzy blonde hair and glasses that seemed halfway beween the enormous, owl-like glasses of the 80s and the sleek, almost as small as possible glasses of the 2000s. She was always nice to me and was going about her business as usual in having me read several pages of a book I thought was my reading level. I chose King of the Murgos book 2 of the Mallorean series by Eddings because that's what I happened to be reading at the time, (easily my 4th or 5th time through the series) and proceeded to read several pages to Mrs. White. The test measured by a knowledge of the definition of a variety of words and their uses in context. Mrs. White couldn't find a single word from my reading selection that I didn't know and and couldn't use in context. She was particularly impressed by a 5th grader's understanding of the word bodice. This memory is so clear I can still pick up that book, King of the Murgos, and pick out the scene I read to her. I actually remembered being embarrassed(unnecessarily) about talking about a bodice, because that's where girls keep their boobies and you're not supposed to talk about those, which I never said out loud but was thinking quite intensely at the time. Upon resolution of the test, Mrs. White was happy to announce I possessed a post college level reading skill with such advanced levels of comprehension and vocabulary, about which I was, of course, esctatic.

 

After pondering my reading habit I kept track of the number of novels I read over the next calendar year just to see how many I could read. During that year I couldn't go a single day in school without the teacher telling me to put my book away at least 3-4 times, I'd eat through a novel every week, or less. by the end count, during my 6th grade year, I'd reached 56 novels, averaging 3-400 pages each. It didn't seem that unusual to me, but then I was really an introvert at that age, I didn't have a lot of friends that I could compare that to. I still am, but I can shift into extrovert mode when I feel it necessary. As I got older I met people/kids that had never read a single book for pleasure from cover to cover, only class/job required reading and it made me very sad.

 

These days I don't average this much reading but if so inclined, I'll chew through 4-500 page novel in an afternoon if left undisturbed. Growing up with such a reading habit actually brought all sorts of unlikability to me and frustration to some of my friends. I got to the point I'd say things like discern instead of figure out, or apprehensive instead of nervous and my friends would just give me blank stares or say "wtf man? Speak english" The unlikability came from a combination of correcting other people's grammar while not being discerning enough to know when it was tactful to do so. Now I do it whenever I feel like it and then immediately use terribly grammar to test how closely my friends are paying attention.

So there's my meandering explanation to why I irritate people about their grammar inspired by the death of one of my favorite authors.

Today's Heart goes out to...

Motivational posters. I remember them vaguely popping up in the mid-nineties as poorly motivating papers stuck in crappy frames. I never found them impressive to be honest. I'm not really sure when it started exactly, but with the creation of internet memes, which are a type of inside joke that quickly gain and lose popularity via the web, Motivational posters have become one of the longtimers.

I believe one of the reasons it has stuck around for so long, is it's not really a joke to be amused at for a while, then discarded, but an avenue through which jokes can be expressed. Take a picture, funny or not, give it a snappy caption and a black border and voila! a motivational poster. As with anything spawned on the internet, a great deal of them are sad, pathetic, disgusting or just weird so be aware.

The Rubiks Cube

I would go so far as to say that most people find the Rubik's Cube a complete mystery and anyone who can solve is a magician and capable of things no human should be. Well, maybe not that last part, but my point is that people tend to freak when you show them you can do it, even more so when you can do so in a relatively short period of time, like say, a minute or two. After being invented in 1974 (patented in 1975) by Ernő Rubik, a Hungarian university professor and architect, as a tool to teach his students about 3D objects/structures, a solution to it wasn't widely published until 1981.
A booklet entitled ‘You Can Do the Cube’ was produced by Patrick Bossert, a 12-year-old schoolboy from England.

Anyway, for those of you who've seen me solve a Rubik's Cube with any period of time that could be considered recent, ie the last 2 years or so, you've probably seen me solve it in less than two minutes. I average about 1:15, but my personal record is 60 seconds. This is only after months of relentlessly practicing, refining the solution algorithm, or series of patterns, increasing my manual dexterity to bring my Rubik solving prowess to this level. This is more personally impressive. it's far less impressive taking the world record of 7.09 seconds into account. and then I found twenty dollars. just kidding, but it wouldn't be a bad closing point to this blog. It's definitely better than ending on how much I suck compared to the best cubers.

Quotes for Today Edition 1

Here's a list of quotes I've found that I like. That's all for that sentence.

Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody else?
- James Thurber
One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.
- Rita Mae Brown
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
- W. C. Fields
You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans.
- Ronald Reagan
Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.
- Wilson Mizner

and done

Call the Press

I'm a huge nerd. No, like mega nerd. Seriously, it's big, no bigger than that. I know you're surprised, but it really is true. I really don't remember the inspiration to write about how big a nerd I am, but here goes.



Until recently I've been working for DirecTV, but during my sojourn there, I had a huge stalker-fanboy-trekkie moment. I've been a fan of Star Trek since I was a young child, looking forward to watching Star Trek: The Next Generation each day after elementary school. I having stayed pretty loyal to and enjoyed pretty much all the movies and the different series, with the exception of the steaming dungpile that was Enterprise.(I won't link anywhere, because it sucks) After years and years of watching this enjoyable Sci-Fi world, I consider myself a rather dedicated fan of William Shatner. For those of the uninitiated, he's the actor that has played Captain James Tiberius Kirk of the starship Enterprise for roughly 30 years. He's very famous for his cadence, and his most famous line may be "Khaaaaannnnnnnn!!!" from the movie Start Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan, arguably the best Star Trek Movie ever made, although in my opinion the new Star Trek movie made by JJ Abrams trumps it, but just barely. Anyway, this is all just build up to what I did which I shouldn't be proud of, but am kinda. Back to my stalker/fanboy moment. Working for DirecTV, I used the customer information database system to look up William Shatner's home address. Okay, yes that's weird, but I took it one step further. I took that address and looked it up on Google Maps. I got a grainy overhead of his property and a close up of the front gate. Yes I know this is still really weird. I think of myself as just short of the crazy trekkies. You know the ones I'm talking about, the guys that attacked the actor Ricardo Montelbaun because he played Khan, a fictional character, who was bent on destroying James T. Kirk, another fictional character they were apparently waaaaaay too fixated on. I'll check out his house, but I'm not gonna post his address on the internet. For those of you morbidly curious that clicked on the Google Maps link thinking it would jump straight to William Shatner's address, you're sick and shame on you for thinking I would do that to a Sci-fi icon. So yeah, I'm a bit of a creeper. No real purpose to this story, just a crazy random thing I did.

Star Trek: A Fan's Review

Warning: No Spoilers. I'm not interested in detailing the movie here, but my impression of it, how it was done and my background when it comes to JJ Abrams.

I was truly excited for the new Star Trek movie for really one reason. JJ Abrams involvement as Director. I'm a hardcore fan of the show Alias which was created and produced and occasionally the best episodes were directed by JJ himself. I've enjoyed the Lost episodes I've seen, although haven't watched much. Both series contain and exemplify the long term planning that makes commitment to the series worth something. He's so good at creating pay offs in the moment and pay offs that set your head spinning two, three or even four years later. This combined with his ability to take a genre, or idea and stay true to the greatest ideals of that idea/genre. I'll give you two examples of directing that illustrate my point.

First is the Kevin Smith, well known because of his New Jersey Chronicles, ie the Jay and Silent Bob movies about doing drugs, swearing, sex and all sorts of crazy mix 'em ups. At doing that type of flick, Kevin Smith is a master at writing interesting dialogue, and giving it a good mix of obscenities centered around and interesting story that keeps you hooked and watching till the end. He's made only one real venture into a different kind of flick with Jersey Girl. I'm not saying it's a bad movie, but it's far from earth shattering. It was cute, there was a sweet father daughter story arc with some swearing and dirtiness thrown in. It's a good little movie but not the kind that will leave most people weeping or feel like they're different people because they've seen it. I'm not gonna ask him to direct a feel good chick flick, or an intense horror/action film, I'm more interested in what he does well, D*%$ and fart jokes, as he puts it.

The second example is one that will reveal a side of me I don't flout very often. It's one of JJs other ventures, one of his first creations, the series Felicity. Yes, I have watched some, although not all of this show, and yes I like chick flicks and feel-good type movies, not all of them. from what I've seen, JJ did great work on character development, twisting plot lines, intense emotional moments, great cliff hangers and overall an interesting story development. His next show was Alias, as I've mentioned one of my favorites, and it was about a badass girl spy who realized she was working for the terrorists that she thought she was fighting against, became a double agent and works from the inside to take them down. not even close to the same dynamic, both very well done.

JJ went all in and didn't rely on anything as a crutch. One of things I love the most is that for him it's not about using the things he's learned in the past on the projects he's currently working on, but learning and using anything that will complete the vision as put forth by the writer that he trusts does their job well. This is why I was very, very interested in watching Star Trek. JJ Abrams actually admitted he's never really been a Trekkie (Anyone who uses the term trekker to describe themselves, or anyone, as a Star Trek Fan is an idiot. I don't go on hikes, I like Star Trek), but that he actually was much more a fan of the Star Wars films. So even without much love for the massive amounts of material upon which he could base this star Trek Film, he was able to study it, and stay true to the heart of why I believe most people love Star Trek, specifically the original series. The action, the characters and their relationships, the subtle jokes, the obvious jokes. It's awesome. He, along with the writers, beautifully sidestepped the problem of making a remake. I won't get specific storywise, but it stays true in those ways I mentioned above and has a perfect excuse not to be exactly in line with a prequel, on top of using that same reason to be able to continue on with sequels to this movie and have pretty much anything they want to be open for development.

And in closing, I fully stand with Wil Wheaton(For those of you non-trekkies, Wil Wheaton is the actor who played Wesley Crusher on Star Trek: The Next Generation) on his response to this remake of Star Trek. I too would like to see 10 more Star Trek Movies with this cast and creative team. It would be AWESOME!

PS:Wil Wheaton can be found at his blog http://wilwheaton.typepad.com/ and on twitter at http://twitter.com/wilw/

Narcolepsy, not just for your mom anymore

I'd like to take an opportunity to describe a way in which I live life a little bit differently than most people. I know a great many people I know have heard my stories before but I'm almost always ready to retell them, especially because I usually won't remember who I've told and who I haven't. Moving on.

I first realized in 11th grade that there was something seriously different with my sleeping cycle compared to 'normal' people. The experience I had requires a bit of explanation. I spent the entirety of my Junior under sleep deprivation. I would wander to bed around 2am, wake up at 6am for my extra "zero hour" class at 7am that preceded my first period class. Having that extra class would allow me one more period a day to take naps, which I did prodigiously. There was only one day that whole year that I successfully slept in all 7 of my classes, it was tough though with two computer lab type classes and my TA period in the Library. I would then go home, read, hang out, do my normal routine, which would lead me to going to bed at 2am once more. I'd do this all week until the weekend and on friday and saturday nights I would sleep for about 12-13 hours to catchup. I did this for months, literally through to the end of my junior year. My parents are a bit spacey, and didn't seem to notice my lack of sleeping, but then they didn't really have reason to worry because despite sleeping in 4-5 classes a day on average, I had a b+ grade average.

All that information is just the grounds upon which I leap into the relatively weird part. One day in english, I had my headphones on. For those of you who know me this is far from unusual as I have my headphones on for pretty much anything I can manage, and if they're not on my head, they're around my neck and probably still playing something. Anyway, I began a song and laid my head down on my desk, without even a pretense of working as my teacher was used to it and I still accomplished all the work he wanted out of me. I woke suddenly to my friend shaking me and saying, "Are...are you okay?" Responding with the usual triggered response, "Yeah, I'm fine, other than being tired, why?" She proceeded to explain that she had seen my eyes "wigging out" and it freaked her out and so she woke me up. To be clear my family has an issue (I won't dignify something so insignificant as a disorder) that we sleep with our eyes partially open, that's how said friend saw my eyes "wigging out". After eliciting more detail on what my eyes had been doing, I figured out that they had been rapidly vibrating back and forth as described to happen in REM state sleep, which is the restful state of sleep, among other descriptions. That makes this experience so unusual is putting together three things. I mentioned my headphones because I noticed that I hadn't finished the song I'd laid my head down to when taking that little nap, so it had been less than five minutes I'd been asleep. Combine that with hitting REM Sleep and that REM state sleep normally comes at about 90 minutes after falling asleep, which I reached in less than 5. After spurring myself to research REM sleep, I found out that early REM in sleep cycles is a sign of narcolepsy, which contrary to popular belief includes sleeping disorders beyond just falling asleep uncontrollably.

This makes a lot of sense as my Father has a sleeping disorder, although a bit different than I've ever heard of before or since. Everybody has what are called circadian rhythms which is your your body's way of controlling your sleep cycles. You can find all the technical details on the wikipedia page, or a reliable website. Regardless, one of the things that Circadian rhythms control is turning off your ability to move while asleep so as to prevent self injury while acting out the more vivid of your dreams, in sleepwalkers this malfunctions in that they get up, walk around, in some cases even conversing or doing other rather complex activities. In my father, his Circadian rhythms kick that sleep paralysis in early, so he'll be completely awake, on his way to sleeping, but be completely unable to move. Not physically damaging, but pretty F-ing scary if you are a kid growing up and have no idea what's going on.

I know I'd always been good at cat naps, recovering from sleep deprivation, sleeping whenever I felt like, things like that, but I never knew why for the longest time. That's a thought. Granted this is all slapped together by yours truly and having never gone to a doctor because of it, I have no official confirmation, so I advise taking this with a grain of salt, as I could be full of it.

(Some) Atheists are Foolish

My problem isn't with the idea that there is no god or supreme power, it's defining oneself by what one doesn't not believe in. What about this statement. I believe in a universe that is defined by chaos and lack of a supernal patterning. That wasn't so hard, was it? While it doesn't quite roll off the tongue, you can say that and not look like an idiot by defining yourself by what you lack belief in. Please keep in mind I am aware I mention a supreme power in that statement (supernal patterning) but the difference is starting with what the belief is and then defining what that belief consists of. I'm saying I believe in this, defined by this, and by a lack of this. That gives the belief structure, instead of existing defined by a lack of structure entirely.

I don't even have a problem with the phrasing "I don't believe in god." It's the atheists that use that kind of phrase as a budgeon to beat christians, muslims, jews and other god fearing people away from their belief in god. It's not even atheists that try to convert me to atheism, I love a good religious discussion. People explaining to me why they believe what they do and how they came up with their thoughts and feelings on the subject, I can listen to that any day of the week. The problem atheists are the militant about their atheism (I say their because I am definitely a believer in God)and are stupid about it.

I consider myself an Agnostic Theist. What that means is that I believe in God, but don't believe there is any reasonable proof of his existence. I am an empyrical thinker at heart. Logic, scientific/mathematic relationships, equations, formulae, geo-ecological/socio-cultural systems are the bread and butter of my thinking. The idea that life formed on this planet and all of the statistical impossibilities that were required to produce such life is inconceivable to me without the possibility of god.

Writer's Block, Oh Joy

I've suffered this on occasion, but usually I just stop writing until something specifically inspires me to write, but that is not an option this month. I made a decision to write a number of blogs that reached multiple digits, ie 10 or more. I missed it by one last month, not again, I probably won't have an excuse of being run over by a car to shelter me from self-degredation and shame. Moving on.

I've got something to Heart today. It's a website I recently found through my multitudinous journeys through the interweb. Mashable.com

What they mean by social networking news is that they have little tidbits, stories, links, lists, reviews and articles related to networking online. Generally it's related to specific sites, ie Facebook, Myspace, Blogger (which is who hosts this blog you're currently reading, if you were previously unaware) I've already picked a few things up for it. For people that are interested in connecting to others online, it's a veritable smorgashborg of fun facts, gadgets to use, ways to protect your privacy online, while still connecting. I picked up the nifty RSS feed button to your right from there.

I'll be honest that I'm kind of addicted to the internet, I'm active on Myspace and Facebook pretty much on a daily basis, I check my email waaaaay to much, spend hours on wikipedia, IMDB, Youtube looking up information I'll probably never use, but I enjoy it. I also understand that most people aren't interested in using the internet nearly as much as I am, so Mashable is a great way to add that little extra to whatever little bit of interwebbing that you do.
Cracker out

How to GM Your Own Habit Abatement Campaign

[Editor's note: I am reposting this in light of my last post and because I think it's hilarious and a rather good way to go about it, in my opinion. Nothing outside these quotes, was written by me. This was writtne by MC Frontalot on his site http://frontalot.com/ check it out.]

I don't like to talk about Quitting Smoking. It sounds so final, and it turns the inevitable backslide into a major failure event. But I do Stop Smoking from time to time, which lasts anywhere from a few weeks to three years. I am in process of stopping right now, in fact. Usually I stop by not smoking, which is a pretty okay way to do it. This time I'm trying to make it more interesting by gradually diminishing intake with the help of a couple D&D rules.

You can play too! Here's how.

1. Name your character. Mine's Breathorr Inflatagon, a level 2 Lung Elf. You don't have to roll up stats. If you're a real stickler for form, go get your lungs x-rayed. The x-ray film is your character sheet.

2. Keep a d20 in your pack of cigarettes. If it doesn't fit, keep die, lighter, and pack together in some kind of totable container. May I suggest a pouch?

3. Whenever you feel like smoking, that means the GM (you) is trying to poison your character (also you). Time for a saving throw! I decided the DC (Difficulty Class) for my save vs Poison is 15. Roll the d20. 15 and up: I am saved from that cigarette I wanted! Hooray? 14 and under: oh darn, I get to enjoy another satisfying and flavorful cancer treat.

4. If you make the save, you really can't have a cigarette. Rolls have to be at least an hour apart. If you haven't rolled for two hours, that does not mean you get to roll twice. Be strict, or the GM Regulatory Cabal will revoke your authority. (I assume? I haven't GM'd since like 1988.)

5. Every day of the campaign, your Wisdom increases slightly. You're using Will to save against Poison, so increased Wis modifies in your favor (well, in your character's favor — your GM prefers that the poison attacks land). I'm using a mod of +1 for each day, so on day two rolls of 14 and up are successful saves, on day three it's 13 and up, etc. Fifteen days into the campaign, I will only be allowed to smoke when I roll a natural 1.

6. Rolling a natural 1, of course, is a critical fail. Thus, no matter how wise I get, I will always be able to sneak a cigarette if I can roll a 1. But after fifteen days I'm going to limit myself to one poisoning attempt per day, instead of one per waking hour. The game logic behind this is: fuck you, I do what I want.

You can design your own system, of course. The DC of 15 and the minimum hour between rolls seemed suited to how much I was already smoking. If you go through two packs of Chesterfields a day you are probably not going to survive on so meager an allotment of poison.

I realize also that this system is nowhere near complicated enough for some gamers. Feel free to adapt much more sophisticated rulesets. Probably "internet" would be a good place to post them once you've got the kinks worked out.

Nerdcore Represent

I have a hearting today that strikes very close to home. This is a bit of a double hearting, one for a Rap Sub-genre called Nerdcore, and for the rapper that coined the term for this sub-genre, MC Frontalot.

Nerdcore is when a rapper has a specific lifestyle and chooses to rap about things that are very unusual when compared to mainstream rap. Specifically things about computer programming, Dungeons and Dragons, Magic the Gathering, Data stream encryption and blog hating. I've found that aside from Eminem and 2Pac who are considered lyrical wizards in their own right, I don't really care for the usual topics that are important for most rappers. I guess we can say that blunts, 40s and bitches don't really do it for me as Nick grade rap material. Enter Nerdcore, with it's realistic approach to it's major audience, ie nerds and geeks, and how they "obtain" their music, which would be pirating it via Bittorrent Download clients like uTorrent and Vuze or Filesharing programs like Limewire. They rap about being attracted to and nervous around Goth Girls, or a crappy roommate in college, or how everybody just calls them up for Tech support. While I can't identify with every single thing they quantify, I still do with the majority and am amazing how entrancing this music has become for me.

Back to the specific, MC Frontalot, the so called Godfather of Nerdcore. He actually coined the phrase while writing lyrics and decided to throw it around a bit with his indie stylings until it caught on a bit like wildfire, but like wildfire contained in a small area, like haiti. Nerdcore is a pretty specific and narrow sub-genre with an estimated dozens of rappers that populate it as opposed to the thousands, or tens of thousands of other rappers. Anyway, Frontalot is smooth with his lyrics, straight up with his frontin' and here to get the word out about Nerdcore. I gotta say, I'm a devoted fan now, hope you will be too.

Mmmh...Astrology

I've ridiculed and condescended many a follower of astrology over the years. Mostly because I despise daily horoscopes, and still do. I think they are retarded, despite the fact I've shifted my zero belief in astrology to a miniscule, non-zero belief in Astrology. While this shift in belief seems very small, to me it's the difference between door being shut, locked and barred closed, and a door that looks closed, but wasn't quite closed enough to even latch, let alone be locked and barred. To be a bit more non-metaphorical, I read up on a general description of an Ares personality tendencies (because they are described as tendencies and sure as hell don't qualify as truly detailed personality profiles) and was surpised to find it fits quite well overall. Not surprised, more reminded, which sparked interest in finding out my rising astrological sign, which is the sign that is on the eastern horizon which depends on the time of day you're born, and it is supposed to be what peoples first impression of you tends to be. I also found that to be relatively accurate, which sparked more research into the Chinese Zodaic, of which I'm an Ox, on number of different levels. Because of this, I found there are actually three aspects of the Chinese Zodiac and actually a 60 year cycle, not just 12 years. So I found that I'm a Yin/Wood/Ox person which all relate to personality tendencies which I also found to be relatively accurate. It kind of blew my mind. One of the things that I like to believe about myself is that I am always willing to revise my beliefs if I can find/be given reason to believe otherwise. So daily horoscopes are still a steaming pile of dung, but I'm starting to think Astrology in general may be a treasure buried under that stupid pile of dung. Well anyway, I'll be back again to ramble on about random aspects of life another day.

April Fools

I have no great revelation that you're not sure about whether or not it's a joke, or at least, none that I'm going to reveal anyway. I just have my b-day in just two days. Weird. Turning 24 kind of sneaked up on me this year. I feel like it should be more momentous, but I guess that should be when I turn a full quarter century old next year. Ah well. So I failed last month. My goal was to update 10 blogs during the month of March, but I think it might be excused as I set that goal on march 30th and the whole I got run over by a car on March 31st kind of distracting me.

For those of you who are interested in what happened here it is, is my normal, meandering format. I decided to opt for a little excercise by skateboarding from the bus transfer stop because it wasn't an unreasonable distance from work. Yesterday was not the best day to do that apparently. As I was skating down the sidewalk, I saw some traffic waiting at the stop light. I didn't think anything of it, so I just continued skating into the crosswalk. I didn't realize that the car closest to the sidewalk with it's right blinker on had a driver that had not seen me, and he was checking for incoming traffic for the lane he intended to turn into. This is all well and good right up until he hit the gas without looking back to make sure that no one had sailed directly into his path. I was several feet away, so I had a bit of time to react, not enough time to say, "You're about to strike me with your vehicle!" I shoved my longboard behind me as I stepped off and tried to jump back out of the way. The problem was that as I tried to land, my heels caught on the pavement and I fell back with my legs splayed out. At this point that left the car's trajectory to run both wheels on it's right hand side over both my shins, which it did. The driver immediate pulled over after realizing what he'd done. I tried to stand up immediate, which was a mistake, as I almost passed out. I sat down on the grass and a guy pulled over right in front of me and another truck pulled over and another man and a woman got out. They all asked me if I was okay, if they could give me a ride to the hospital. I was in shock at this point and kind of working my head through the pain. After a minute I got up and said I'd be okay and sent everybody on their way and proceeded to finish skating to work. Let me pause for a moment and say yes, I was an idiot. I didn't ask for any of his information, I didn't call the police, yet, and I didn't go to the hospital, yet. I was worried about work and so, in shock, I just insisted on going to work. After about two hours at work my legs started to really bother me and numerous people insisted that I both report it to the police and go to the hospital. I followed their advice, talked to both, although I didn't have any information other than a vague description of the guy and his car so the Police really couldn't do anything. Went to the doctors after that, had only one of my legs X-Rayed, because that one was the only one really troubling me. X-rays came back showing not a single crack or fracture. I lost a lot of skin and hair, and there was a little muscle and ligament damage, but definitely nothing serious. I can already dance a jig, not that I dance jigs.
Guten Morgen, und wenn ich nicht sehen können, Guten Nachtmittag, guten Abend und gute Nacht!

And today's Hearting goes to.....

Vampires! I've always found the mythos that surrounds them rather fascinating. I don't believe they exist in reality, but find a great many authors and writers variations and versions of them rather interesting. Let me specify that I'm definitely not a vampire freak. I don't have any desire to look like them, wear makeup resembling them, or dress in vamp clothes, or put on fake fangs. I don't dream about them, or believe they actually exist, waiting for one to show up one day to turn me into one. That's just a bunch of silliness. The thing I like most about the Vampire stories I read/watch in tvs and movies is when they walk the line of humanity. They struggle with the beast of their vampiric nature in order to retain, or recapture their humanity. My recommended reads/watchs would include Underworld and it's sequel, HBO's True Blood TV series, The Anita Blake Vampire Hunter Series by Laurell K. Hamilton.

(Spoiler alert) This theme is actually the main reason for my fondness for the Twilight series. Having read the first two books and seen the first movie, I'd have to say that the overall story is a bit weak, and there are some specifics that I really could do without (can anyone say sparkly vampires?), but I really enjoy the read. The first reason is Edward's interest in retaining his humanity and self control. The second is that it's a very easy read. None of the concepts are challenging, I'm not trying to figure out anything terribly complex. I'm basically watching this story about a love sick teenage girl, who I can relate to, having been a lovesick teenager myself, and a bi-polar, kinda wacky romantic guy/vampire. Having grown up with people in my life being bi-polar, I have learned to deal with them. I actually find it to some degree endearing for some odd reason. I can't really explain that one. Bottom line for the series, not literary genius, but I'm not looking for it. I'm looking for some interesting variations on the mythos of Vamps and some mushy lovey dovey stuff and maybe a little action/plot furtherence. I don't expect a lot out of it, and I'm not disappointed.
Guten Morgen, und wenn ich nicht sehen können, Guten Nachtmittag, guten Abend und gute Nacht!

AM inspiration

I sit at 4:30AM, unable to sleep for my own folly, with my rather large afternoon nap. Sitting here, simultaneously in a funk and clear in differing ways, I wonder what the inspiration I'm feeling really is, and when/where it will truly manifest itself. Recently I've had a lot of inspiring moments, of clarity, truth, beauty and love, and I've had a number of pathetic ne'er do well moments that my first instinct is to chastise myself for and be ashamed of.

I recently heard on a movie a line something to the effect of shame/guilt is a useless emotion, there is nothing helpful about it. I disagree, it just seems that way because it's application is often backwards. From what I've been told, the average inmate doesn't see themselves as guilty, where the average person often feels far more guilty over things that could be considered trivial. I dare to think that this goes for the majority of society. It's ironic that the two most well known applications (or lack thereof) of guilt are people using it incorrectly. Guilt is supposed to be a thumbtack placed on your seat. Just a sharp reminder that you have stepped outside your moral boundaries for just a moment. If you've run rampant outside said moral boundaries, you forget what they are entirely and how guilt would apply to your life, so it's just easiest to say not guilty. The problem I have, which I believe is quite common, is that I will step closer to that moral barrier than I ever normally do, even if it's well inside according to most peoples standards, and I will rack myself with guilt over it. It can get debilitating. Granted, I'd say I've been much better about not debilitating myself in that way than I have in the past, but in small moments, it still happens.

One thing I truly believe about life on planet Earth is that everything is perfect. That's not to say that life is fair, or anywhere in the vicinity of equal, but our lives that we each live are perfect for us, because we spend every waking moment creating them. Down to the toothpaste we buy, or the twitch of an eyebrow. I was recently rather foolish and I misunderstood what I was told and didn't ask any clarifying questions. I am absolutely accountable for this. I ended up standing up a date unintentionally. This is not to say I left her sitting, waiting at a restaurant when I didn't show, but just that I didn't call her the day off to set specific plans because we are both, apparently, terrible at deciding what to do on a date. At this point I don't think another date will be scheduled, for the most part due to her feelings about me not calling. I must be honest in that I believe that's a rather harsh reaction to what happened, but well within her prerogative. I wouldn't want to convince her to go against her better judgement in order to go on a date with me, along with if she's really that unforgiving, what kind of a relationship am I really going to cultivate with her? I can't say for sure, but it definitely wouldn't be starting off on the best foot, so to speak. The misunderstanding I had in that conversation is life's way of giving me a reminder that I really need to ask clarifying questions if I'm not sure about a situation, or agreement I have with someone. That's what makes all our lives perfect for us.

Something a Bit Lighter

So on a lighter, much more surfacy, superficial level, I got a digital Camera the other day! Yay! I had one before, but it was cheap and broke within a week. I got it through a bonus program at work and didn't want to fight with management at work through the 10-14 weeks it would take to get a new one, just to have another crappy one. this time I bought it off amazon and I'm happy with the features, screen size and pixel quality, so hopefully you'll start seeing more photos of me and my life, instead of just talk and words. I am by no means a master photographer, but I wasn't under the impression any of you thought that, regardless, you might see some really terrible pictures up here, just bear with me please.

I wanted to Heart something today. I'm gonna go with a double heart of Webcomics in general and Penny Arcade as a webcomic in particular. I'm kind of a superfan when it comes to webcomics, I follow about 12-14 of them. Thank goodness I found out how to use RSS feeds, that made life simpler. instead of going to the websites to get comics, the comics come to me, via RSS. I love Penny Arcade for a number of reasons. First of all, the reason they named themselves Penny Arcade is because they consider themselves cheap thrills. I find this amusing because it's a phrase my mother has used for years whenever anything relatively exciting/pleasing that surprised her she would express that she never minded the surprise because it was cheap thrills. Anyway, one of the other reasons I love PA is because it so succinctly expresses the lack of connection with reality some portions of society has, for example...

Feel free to click on the pic to link directly to the PA website. I simultaneously laughed my butt off and was rather sad when I read this comic, because of how close to reality this portrayal of society is. With that I'll bid you adieu and good day.

A Moment on Correspondence

To be clear, I use correspondence in terms of relationships and connections (although not the mathematical ones as that definition actually pertains to). I will refrain from relating the specific events, for privacy's sake(and not my own, I've noticed I can be a bit more open than most people feel comfortable with). To put it simply, I related to a friend and with little knowledge and no experience of their personal situation, and according to them, my insight was genius, almost telepathic.

I would disagree, I believe that I've let down barriers that hold a great deal of us, as humans, back. The biggest, and I mean biggest problem we can have with connecting to other people is to feel like we're alone. Be it feeling like you can't express your thoughts/feelings well enough, or that it wouldn't matter if you could express it because nobody gets your situation, or can really know how you feel. I know it may sound slightly ridic when I say it like that, but it's a reality that can feel inescapable when you are within it's jaws. I know that within the myriad possibilities of complex interconnected feelings that we as human beings feel everyday, there are an infinite number of variations on the hints of flavor based on certain base emotions. You can get a bit more complex than this, but in the end, in my experience, everything you do/feel is either based in either love or fear. Period. You could even distill it further to everything is based in either creation or destruction, specifically love of creation, or fear of destruction.

Getting back to the point. After schooling myself to think in terms of love/fear, everything becomes much simpler. Seeing how a person has been living in fear and letting people mistreat and abuse them and relating to that becomes much easier as well. I know what it's like to allow others to mistreat me, because I'm afraid of losing something good, or causing something bad to happen. Just because the something bad happening and something good possibly lost is different, doesn't make the emotions involved any different, at the base level. It seems to me that people get bogged down in specifics that don't really matter in the end, not in relating to other people. If your father beat you as a child and because of this you always give in to any father figure in your life, is that any more important than me as a child being ridiculed for being fat and being self conscious, and choosing what clothes I wear, the people I hang out with and the way I deserve to be treated because of that? NO! At least not in terms of something happened in both our lives that we use to hold ourselves down, and back from the most open, loving, feeling, happiest ways of living our life. Does it really matter if it's keeping us from being happy?

Our perception of other peoples problems as being trivial is the barrier between connecting a great many people. Regardless of how monumental and earth shattering you might consider a life changing event you had as a child, or teenager, or as an adult, you could track down someone that thinks it's trivial, especially when compared to their problems. The thing that can unify us all in strength, and in moving forward with our lives is not the trivial events themselves, but our reactions to it, the decisions we made because of it, and the actions we took to make that pain go away. Once we focus on that, so much of what was in the way, seems to just disappear.

Off the soapbox for a minute. I appreciate any interest you have in reading my words, whether the intent was to take them to heart and apply them in your lives if you haven't already, or take it as ammunition for mudslinging. Either way I am grateful, because you can still build a house out of mud. I don't expect everything I say to be accurate, logical or even sane %100 of the time. In fact, I count on the fact that it won't and just ask you as I have before, let me know. Let me know what you think, how you feel about what I said and if it seems like I've lost all my marbles.

Roller Coaster Ride Baby

I believe the excitement implied in the title of this blog is misleading, but I'm gonna leave as is, because I want to remember the song that I've associated with it for ever. I just ponder tonight, far far too late into the following morning, that life has it's ups and downs and while today wasn't tops especially in the context of the three previous, it was better than it has been a lot of the time and better than a lot of people can complain. I play what's called tabletop RPGs. The most famous of these is D&D or Dungeons and Dragons, for those layman who read this. If that doesn't explain it well enough, there's no point in elaborating without directly applied force to the noggin. I feel like I've committed to really playing with my Sunday group for the first time. Again for the laymen, I play a fictional character that I've created and decided nearly everything about. Today I was so invested in that character's goals and feelings that I had tears in my eyes and everybody stopped to pay attention to exactly what it was I was saying. Just earlier today I had though about leaving the group and starting one of my own. Now there's no way, I'm all in, the dice are cast and I'm there with all the frustrations and victories to savor.

What's in a name

I just want to dwell on another three things that are interconnected for a moment. The name of this blog is English Alphabet Derivative which is from something that one of my favorite comedians ever Eddie Izzard, who I've talked about before. The full saying is "A collection of letters, derived from the english alphabet, signifying all that is me." I named my blog that because I believe with that to some degree all of life's experience is in some way derived from something else. That seems a bit of a jump to go from the english language to the meaning of life, but stay with me here. As humans we learn by association, babies actually start with their strongest sense, that of smell, to associate the scent of their mother to their presence. We build on this experience and very basic others, like being hungry, or sleepy, and as we grow older, the experiences (tend to) grow more varied and complex until we are adults and there are so many things that seem so basic a part of human life that it should be universally known, but if a person's experiences have generally differed from most people's from birth and even times before that, then they can percieve that basic fundamentality of human life as totally foreign. In the english language very few sentences have never been said before, despite it being a complex language and possessing seemingly useless variations at times, in order to truly be unique, you must include some complexity of the your human experience in your expressions. Saying "I am hungry" is nearly meaningless by itself. Saying "It's 5am and I'm hungry because I stayed up with a friend who was in trouble and we've been on the road since 9 o'clock yesterday morning on a road trip" actually expresses a small something, in my estimation. Of course, if your reading my blog, you ought to be assuming that everything here is in my estimation, unless disclaimed otherwise.

Secondly, I had trouble coming up with a screen name after cycling through a lot of garbage for my Myspace account. I settled on "A Collection of Letters Signifying All That is Me" as a shortened version of that Eddie Izzard Quote, because that's all that would fit in the space they'd give me. Mr Izzard was talking about how names are really just a bunch of letters people stick together as they name their children, or themselves that are supposed to give a glimpse of who that person is. I guess that it does give the most minimal of glimpses, but the name becomes more meaningful with life experience associated, ie you get to know the person. I found it far more interesting to give a long drawn out explanation up front of my name, as a name, rather than one or two words that I have a couple of personal associations about random stuff most people wouldn't know and even more people wouldn't care about if I took the time to explain what the hell it meant. I've never had anyone ask me what my name means, just a couple who tell me that it's way too long., to which I respond, then Myspace should shorten the number of letters available to use.

The last is a phrase which I have grown increasingly fond of since I started this Blog. My blog URL, if you've not noticed, is HTTP://polymathendeavor.blogspot.com/ and I decided on the phrase polymath endeavor because it desribes my aim in life since I was a small boy. For clarity's sake, I'll define the phrase. Endeavor is the better known word of the two, meaning by it's simplest definition is to make an effort or strive. Polymath means a person of great and varied learning. I've always been on a ceaseless journey to learn, a great deal of which many people have judged as useless. I've disregarded these judgement and believe I will continue to do so, as this so called "useless" information has countless times proven related, valuable in some way, or the journey to discover/use it in life has provided numerous worthwhile experiences. I know that it really comes down to the journey of learning is always worthwhile, even if the end result may be worth less than expected.
I can find no further words that would further my meaning.
love ya

Friends and Things

I feel lucky all the time for the friends I have in my life. Both the ones who I see everyday, and the ones I left back in Washington, where I was born and raised. I've a number of experiences recently that feel very interconnected. I've noticed that people naturally find me inspiring in a specific way. I don't say this to be prideful or arrogant, just a simple statement of truth that I've noticed. I don't take pride in it, because I've never done anything to consciously cultivate it. What I'm talking about is the fact that people open up to me. They seem to find themselves telling me things they never tell anyone else, or things they aren't even sure why they brought up at all. While not consciously cultivated, I'm still very grateful for this. The reasons for gratitude would include the fact that it's almost always a cathartic(Means relieving for those who cant' stand my wordiness.) experience for the one sharing, and although rarely insires me to catharsis, I do always take pleasure in being that outlet for others. I believe that just expressing something can be cathartic, and even without expecting anything to change, even to someone who isn't invested in the situation, who isn't expected to do anything, or even give meaningful feedback. This kind of opening up has been happening around me since I was a child, I just got quite a few reminders in a very short period.

I recently had a number of reminders of how awesome I am. and by that, I mean how much people value me. The first you can all witness by the simple comment left on my last blog by my good friend Barry. Just a simple I enjoy your writing and please keep it up. I decided to write him a quick thank you email and by the end of it I was in tears with gratitude for his taking the time, just the seconds it took, to let me know he found value in the things that I think and love and wish to share with people. The other was a friend of mine who's been in a bad spot recently. I met her through work and another friend and have only known her for a few weeks, but I'm sure she's one of the most awesome people ever. She opened up to me about how bad of a spot she's in and sparing the details for privacy's sake, I, along with the friend I met her through that I also live with/share a room with, convinced her to take some action. She asked us why we were so concerned about her and we both had the same answer. That she is one of the coolest people we've ever met. She started crying, then I started crying cause that's how I am, and it turned into a big hugfest. She took a leap and moved into the extra room in our house and it's gonna be awesome.

I wanna take this opportunity to heart a website I have come to love a lot that has one shirt that I want to share in particular, that I still need to purchase. http://www.threadless.com/ I would add a picture to show you my favorite shirt, but the interweb is being retarded. The shirt says "A hug is my favorite adhesive" other Gems I've gotten from there are "Drop it like you're clumsy" and "I supplement my personality with witty shirts" and a shirt that I can only sum up as hypota-moose, as the explain the graphic on the shirt would take far far too long and you would lose the funny involved, so suffice it to say it's amusing, and if you care enough, you'll look it up on the website.
Adieu and good day for now

Title to come...

I want to heart an amazing hero of mine, Chris "Ender" Carrabas, the Lead Singer/Guitarist/songwriter of Dashboard Confessional.

I love his guitaring, singing and writing style, the passion he puts into his performance (Live or otherwise) and all around music talent. If I could listen to the music of only one artist/band I could choose Dashboard and never regret it.

25 F-ing things

I'm doing this because nearly a dozen of my friends have tagged me for it. My friend Chris touched my heart in particular with his stark honesty. Because of that, among the funny random things, you will find this interspersed with brutally honest admissions about myself, some of which I've shared with NO ONE EVER. I'm adding this sentence after I've started writing this because I realize that this is going to be a bit of a novel about me, and a pretty long one at that, so if you have the patience, thanks for slogging through it.

You don't have to write back. You don't have to comment. You don't have to read any further than you want. You don't have to acknowledge that you've read this note. But you should know that if I sent this to you, I want you to know me as best as I know me.

1. I have an enormous skull, while normally proportioned, I've never found a hat that fits, it always feels like I'm wearing a yamuca or yarmulke or however it's spelled, that little jewish skullcap thing.
2. I love to longboard. I brag about the fact that I've skated as much as 35 miles in a day, just because I like o longboard.
3. I fiddle, twitch, and make other movements nearly all the time. Whether it's my leg shaking while I'm sitting, talking with my hands, pacing while on the phone, fiddling with my ring, checking my cell phone unnecessarily, flipping said cell phone open and closed a lot, popping joints, stretching my different portions of body or the whole thing or adjusting my clothing; belt, shirt, shorts etc. That might qualify as more than 1, but what ev'
4. I let fear run a great deal of my life. At times it drives me to do exactly what people are afraid of me doing, hurting them. I don't know how to let go of this. I fight with it every day to reach the things I want. Sometimes I win, sometimes I don't.
5. I have three older brothers, 1, 5 and 6 years older than I am. I have been bigger than them all since I was in 8th grade. I would guess that I currently weigh at least 60-70 lbs more than any of them. Only one of them is taller than me, by about 2"
6. If you've met me before, you'll know that I don't wear pants very often. I have a number of very specific reasons for it. First and foremost is that I loath, I don't hate, I loath walking through snow/rain with pant due to the inevitable wet pant legs up to about my knees. Grrrrr!!! Also I find that wearing shorts accentuates my rather rotund posterior in a positive way, plus it's got great air conditioning involved, considering my prodigious production of body heat. Which leads into
7. The temperature at which I'm comfortable ranges far wider than the average human being. (All referenced tempuratures are in Fahrenheit) Starting at about 45 degrees I like, although I prefer to stay covered up, ie a blanket or staying fully clothed. At roughly 55 degrees I'm perfectly comfortable in boxers only. In fact it's the perfect temperature for me. the strangest thing is that this ranges up to about 95+ degrees. I can be dressed normally (shorts and a t-shirt for me) sitting in a car with the windows up, in direct sunlight, in the middle of summer and be completely comfortable. I'll be sweating, for sure, but it won't bother me at all.
8. My knees give me pain and will for the rest of my life. I destroyed the stabilizing tendons that run up the side of the joint to keep everything in line together due to taking some foolish advice about how to stand lifting 300+ lbs. One day in P.E weightlifting, while warming up before I'd taken on even a third of my max weight, my right knee (the much worse of the two) popped and I proceeded to collapse and writh in pain for next twenty minutes or so before I could speak intelligibly. So that's nice
9. I was tested in 5th grade for my reading level and the results were that I could read at the post college level. (There isn't a level higher than that) I would estimate that at that time, at the age of eleven, I'd read roughly 150 novels just for fun, ranging between 300-800 pages in length. During the next year, because of that test, I kept track of the books I read and it came out to 58, which comes roughly 88 pages a day. I'm a huge math nerd. It seems so strange to me when I talk to people that have never read a single book for pleasure.
10. When I was about 5 years old I shared a room with my three older brothers and there was a bit of rivalry going on there, not surprising. The two older against the two younger most often. At this particular juncture Robert and Tommy had forced Carl and I out of our collective room and we were trying to force our way back in, when they gave an extra push and got the door slammed shut on my finger. The problem came when the door pinched off a small portion of the ring finger on my right hand. I remember it happening, but I don't remember the pain or much else that happened, other than my mother becoming extremely upset when we'd gotten back from the hospital to find that I'd removed all the bandages they wrapped around my finger. That finger aches in cold weather to this day.
11. I have a strange and paranoid fear that I will turn out to be the Anti-christ. mostly this is because I've been stabbed with a pencil twice, once on each hand, where Jesus is classically depicted as having his hands pierced. I don't really have anyother reason than that, that's why it's a strange and paranoid fear.
12. I remember vividly when I learned how to wiggle my ears by flexing my scalp. I was sitting in what had been dubbed the Music room where all my Dad kept all his musical instruments (including 14 guitars) and related paraphernalia. I was just sitting on a bench and did something that made my scalp feel funny. So I did it again, and started practicing it until I caught sight of myself doing it in a mirror, realizing that I was actually wiggling my ears. The practice continued to the point that I can wiggle just one at a time. I've never met anyone that could wiggle just one.
13. I consider myself an Agnostic Theist, which means I believe in God but don't feel like I have any knowing proof of him. This is a recent change from my being raised LDS. I know that some people will find this shocking, and for that I can only say I couldn't call everyone first. I find my life in a very strange situation in leaving behind some of the ideals and the church that in many ways I've been a staunch supporter of. Here is the basic rundown of what changed in my life/views. I've lived my entire life with doubt in the LDS religion, I've never been "touched by spirit of God" and given a sure knowledge that the Latter Day Saints is the church of god. With that said, I refuse to believe in a religion that gives all real evidence of it's truth after my death. Don't confuse this with saying that the LDS church is a bad one. Far from it. There are a great many ideals it holds to and teaches, and works to have it's patrons practice that I still believe in and will continue to support. Taking into account a secular survey of the behavior of children (how well they do in school/college, participating criminal activities, etc) and how that relates to their religion. On average, LDS children go farther in school, get better grade and generally better behaved. But I wander from my point, which is that I believe in God, I just don't realy believe in religion. Wow that was a long one.
14. I refuse to believe anyone when I ask them why they did/said/asked something and they say, "Oh, no reason" or "Nothing". It's just not true. I have never once found it to be even close to true, although in a true/false paradigm it's kind of hard to come up with degrees, but anyway. I'll accept answers like 'I felt like it, just because, he looked at me funny' I don't care how random, stupid, or completely unrelated the reason is, there is one. If you don't want to tell me, that's fine, if you tell me you don't know why, that doesn't bother me, just don't say there was no reason whatsoever. I know it's not true, and so do you.
15. I love a good chick flick. This is not your average man is okay with watching one every once and a while, because his girl likes them, this is he likes them more than his girl, cries at them and own more of them than she does kind of likes chick flicks. Granted, I'm not dating anyone right now, the idea is still valid.
16. I cry. When I'm reading and watching movies mostly. The movie I cried at the hardest was Ladder 49. I was still crying 20 minutes after the credits had finished, it was so sad! Damn good movie though. The very first movie I cried at was when I was 17, it was Ice age, the part where you see the little story told by the cave paintings of what Manny is remembering.
17. I moved to Utah to find religion and lost it, but I've found myself.
18. I love helping people move. I can't really explain why, I don't particularly like moving myself, but when it comes to moving other people's stuff, I'm totally down for it, anytime. When I was active LDS, it got to the point, if anyone moved in the ward, they were like, "Okay, Nick's helping with the move, could we get two or three other brothers to help the (Insert family surname here)'s get into their new place?"
19. I love a great deal and wide variety of music, but I have an elite set of bands that are pretty much the dog's bollucks, which from what I've heard, is a good thing. To be elite, you must have at least three CDs, and you must be good enough that I listen to you for long enough to learn every song on all of your CDs, and then it has to last long enough that you can be the only thing I listen to for at least a week. Some examples of this are Dashboard Confessional, System of a Down, My Chemical Romance, Breaking Benjamin, Cake, Death Cab for Cutie, Fallout Boy, Incubus, Presidents of the United States of America, Rammstein, Richard Cheese, Sarah McLachlan, Sister Hazel, Staind, Stroke 9. I'm pretty sure that's all of them actually.
20. I don't have a certain type of woman I go for when it comes to looks. I would say there is a trend, although it's not exclusive, of women who've got a bit of substance, so to speak. I just don't want to feel like I might snap you in half. anyway, it's never this person has blue eyes, or green, or blonde hair, or is this height and that makes them beautiful to me. It's always the compliment of most, if not all of their features, their eyes along with the way they do their hair and the shape of their nose and mouth along with the shape of their face and line of their jaw. It makes it much easier to see the beauty in people that way.
21. I decided to run away from home once when I was a kid, I don't remember why, but I decided that I'd live in a tree at the end of my block, that lasted for about an hour and a half, during which time I went home to make myself a couple PB&J sandwiches and then went back to my tree. I got over it, thank goodness.
22. I had a piece of glass stuck in my foot for three years. I had a glass sliver stuck in my foot once and when it was taken out, it left a little behind, creating this weird lump on the bottom of my foot that only hurt when direct pressure was applied to it. after about three years I took my shoes off one day and rubbed my foot and a piece of glass came out of the top of the lump and within about two days, the lump was gone completely.
23. During the summer I didn't have a job when I was about 19 I watched Goodwill Hunting 2-3 times a day for 3 months straight. I've yet to watch it again.
24. The nickname I had as an infant was Baby Buddha. I think you can guess why. I'm not the smallest guy ever.
25. I will always be your friend, by my definition of the word

Going Rogue, or Ninja if you prefer

I'm stealing internet access from my work to post this, so I hope you're happy. I'm kidding, I'm actually not that worried that your happiness is based primarily on my blog posting regularity. I'm getting interweb access installed on friday, which will be sweet, hopefully I'll have my replacement drive for my laptop computer by early next week and then I can wipe my harddrive and get all the crappy spyware off my computer, Yay!!
Anyway, I moved recently, as you're probably aware and I've been getting used to having 6 roommates, and yes, that's 6+ myself. They are all actually really cool people and most of them don't get to worked up about much of anything. It's just weird to have roommates that are equals in the house again as opposed to living in a house with a guy whos insanely controlling about who comes in the house and what happens around his stuff. Gah! That was soooo frustrating! I just wanted to scream at him, "I pay F***ing rent, I can bring people over to where I live!" it wouldn't have mattered to him anyway, so I just left it alone and went out to hang out with my friends. Regardless, it's pretty sweet at the new place. I live close to a number of friends I hang out with, at least every week, if not two or three times a week, so that's nice.
Moving on to the end. It feels really good to post something after the, I don't know, couple weeks I haven't posted. I love you all, expect more soon.

For those who are interested in me

I am moving today and may not have direct access to internet for while so updates may be short/intermittent. I love you all and will leave you with this bit of internet related humor.

I've done this far too many times.

Eddie Izzard

whether he's talking about Squirrels applying make up in trees, shopping in gas stations at 3 am, how the dial on a toaster always lies or total clothing rights, Eddie Izzard has a unique style of humor. If you can stand his rambling, random diatribes about anything in everyday life or history, you'll probably end up loving all of his crazyness, yes that's crazyness with a Y. Easily one of the most original and talented comedians of the last 20 years or so. I'd highly recommend any of his work. One thing to note, if men in makeup and women's clothing bothers you, some of his work may not be for you. That taps into his total clothing rights idea, women have co-opted most of all men's clothing as socially acceptable and he feels that's completely unfair. I heart Eddie Izzard in a completely heterosexual way

I heart various things

So I decided to steal an idea of my friends by hearting various things, basically as a shout out to stuff I think is good. I of course had to start out with Strawberry Ice Cream. I'll eat pretty much anything strawberry flavored, but strawberry ice cream? I'd sell my right leg, my soul and your house for an unlimited supply of it. although as I type this I can't see the photo I uploaded, but just thinking about it has at least doubled the production of my salivary glands. Here's one for Strawberry Ice Cream.

Allowing oneself breath

I am surrounded by my peaceful cacophony just the way I like it. All five of my roommates are gone to disneyland and I have the house pretty much to myself. I'm sitting at the computer, obviously, but what's not obvious is how I like to surround and amuse myself. Today I'm watching Serenity (great movie), listening to John Mayer, Blogging, again obviously, writing email and fooling around on about seven websites and downloading stuff through torrents. I can waste more hours than are healthy this way it's a huge comfort zone for me. I think that my brain processes information differently than almost anyone I've ever met. I can multi-task like a woman, who are, on average, naturally talented at it, my senses/attention will drift between all the things I'm doing and even if I'm not paying direct attention to the movie for example, I'll still catch most the information subconsciously and as my attention drifts back to it I'll assimilate it into what's going on then. I think it's one of the reason I don't play RTSs (Real Time Strategy games, for those of the un-initiated) really well, my attention always drifts away from and then back to whatever I'm doing. It's one of the reasons I always listen to music while I read, it's always familiar and it becomes a white noise for me to bring my focus back to the words on page. That reminds me about the way the read books. As I get into a book, I read faster, and as I read the words become a movie that bleeds through the page, like I'm seeing them both at the same time, it seemed weird to me when I thought about it. A lot of things I do seem weird if I stop to think about them, but I usually don't pause that long.

let's see if this works

I'm going to try and post pictures as a test, so here's some of my crappy webcomic attempts ala MS Paint.

and the second

hopefully you can see them