Saturday, March 21, 2009

A Moment on Correspondence

To be clear, I use correspondence in terms of relationships and connections (although not the mathematical ones as that definition actually pertains to). I will refrain from relating the specific events, for privacy's sake(and not my own, I've noticed I can be a bit more open than most people feel comfortable with). To put it simply, I related to a friend and with little knowledge and no experience of their personal situation, and according to them, my insight was genius, almost telepathic.

I would disagree, I believe that I've let down barriers that hold a great deal of us, as humans, back. The biggest, and I mean biggest problem we can have with connecting to other people is to feel like we're alone. Be it feeling like you can't express your thoughts/feelings well enough, or that it wouldn't matter if you could express it because nobody gets your situation, or can really know how you feel. I know it may sound slightly ridic when I say it like that, but it's a reality that can feel inescapable when you are within it's jaws. I know that within the myriad possibilities of complex interconnected feelings that we as human beings feel everyday, there are an infinite number of variations on the hints of flavor based on certain base emotions. You can get a bit more complex than this, but in the end, in my experience, everything you do/feel is either based in either love or fear. Period. You could even distill it further to everything is based in either creation or destruction, specifically love of creation, or fear of destruction.

Getting back to the point. After schooling myself to think in terms of love/fear, everything becomes much simpler. Seeing how a person has been living in fear and letting people mistreat and abuse them and relating to that becomes much easier as well. I know what it's like to allow others to mistreat me, because I'm afraid of losing something good, or causing something bad to happen. Just because the something bad happening and something good possibly lost is different, doesn't make the emotions involved any different, at the base level. It seems to me that people get bogged down in specifics that don't really matter in the end, not in relating to other people. If your father beat you as a child and because of this you always give in to any father figure in your life, is that any more important than me as a child being ridiculed for being fat and being self conscious, and choosing what clothes I wear, the people I hang out with and the way I deserve to be treated because of that? NO! At least not in terms of something happened in both our lives that we use to hold ourselves down, and back from the most open, loving, feeling, happiest ways of living our life. Does it really matter if it's keeping us from being happy?

Our perception of other peoples problems as being trivial is the barrier between connecting a great many people. Regardless of how monumental and earth shattering you might consider a life changing event you had as a child, or teenager, or as an adult, you could track down someone that thinks it's trivial, especially when compared to their problems. The thing that can unify us all in strength, and in moving forward with our lives is not the trivial events themselves, but our reactions to it, the decisions we made because of it, and the actions we took to make that pain go away. Once we focus on that, so much of what was in the way, seems to just disappear.

Off the soapbox for a minute. I appreciate any interest you have in reading my words, whether the intent was to take them to heart and apply them in your lives if you haven't already, or take it as ammunition for mudslinging. Either way I am grateful, because you can still build a house out of mud. I don't expect everything I say to be accurate, logical or even sane %100 of the time. In fact, I count on the fact that it won't and just ask you as I have before, let me know. Let me know what you think, how you feel about what I said and if it seems like I've lost all my marbles.

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